Hawaiian pants play an important role on the Chet and Bernie series – this paragraph from A Farewell to Arfs sums it up. But now my friend Bob sends me the image you see here with the comment “Bernie was ahead of his time.” It got me thinking.
A very bothersome fact is that one of those self-storages is ours. You’ll never guess what’s inside so I’ll tell you: Hawaiian pants, stacked from floor to ceiling, balled up on shelves, hanging from wall hooks. Hawaiian pants are just like Hawaiian shirts, except for being pants. Plus—and this is pretty much the reason our finances are what they are, if we leave out the tin futures play, perhaps for a later time—there’s another difference. A lot of guys, Bernie included, love Hawaiian shirts but it turns out that none, not even one lone dude, loves Hawaiian pants. How does that make any sense? I still remember the moment Bernie snapped his fingers and said, “Hawaiian pants! Chet! We’re rich!” After that things happened fast and soon a whole boatload of Hawaiian pants arrived, made special in some far off place. Then things began to happen slow—actually not at all, meaning we didn’t sell one single pair, and selling them was part of the plan from the get-go, as I later learned.
6 Comments on “Blue Hawaii”
Good day to all.
Greetings!
I’m kinda diggin’ the turtles. I wouldn’t wear them out in public, but they would make nice pajama bottoms to lounge around the house in.
Create a good day!
Hey! These are quite cool! Who knew?
I’ve been saying for years that hawaiian pants are a thing. But first it was board shorts for surfers and skateborders. I see now it’s actually pants.
But will that help Bernie? Nope. When he can finally unload those Hawaiian pants for, well, probably not a profit but at least less than a total loss, he is going to go to that warehouse and find; 1. they’re gone, stolen. 2. they’re gone, the storage facility owners sold them for non-payment of rent or some other excuse. 3. they’ve rotted from water damage. 4. they’ve been chewed up by mice or rats making nests in them. 5. they’ve disintegrated due to age and poor quality of the fabric. 5. they’ve gone up in a suspicious fire at the storage facility and there was no insurance, on his container but the owners are going to make a mint on *their* insurance. Whatever it is, he won’t be able to sell them or make any money. Worse yet, if they contain anything toxic in the fabric or dyes, he might have to PAY to dispose of them if he can. Well, if they’re asbestos pants at least they won’t burn but he’ll have to pay to have them properly disposed of.
At least if the pants are somehow gone he won’t have to pay that storage rental fee any more. Anyone looked into that? It’s the equivalent of renting an apartment. In fact, it might be cheaper to rent an apartment and store the pants there than to keep them where they are. Unless there is like an entire warehouse of boxes all filled with Hawaiian pants.
BTW I love Hawaiian prints. I have plenty of clothing featuring tropical prints and yards and yards of fabric to either make clothing or quilts using tropical prints.
It is National Food day and National Bologna day. I have no bologna as I am trying to reduce my consumption of processed foods and salt and bologna has a lot of salt, plus usually high fructose corn syrup and I’ve been trying to eliminate that in my diet since 2010. Lots of label reading and giving up regular commercial soda, plus a lot of other foods that have it. Bologna being one and bread being another. I can make my own bread and buy kosher bologna at the deli when I really want a sandwich.
It is also World Tripe day. Hard pass on that. But the dogs are interested.
Tomorrow is Diana pawPrint’s birthday. Chosen by me from information on her intake photo from Hesperia. I figure it is sometime between October 25th and October 31, when she, her siblings and her Mom were surrendered to Animal Control. She was so cute and tiny with her eyes all closed. Who knew she would grow to be a 90 pounder.
And as I’ve shared before, knowing all that prompted me to look at the Hesperia website (after discussions on this here blog) which is when I found Freyja and Diana and I drove up to Hesperia the next day to bring Freyja home before….well….you know. Happy clueless girl had no idea how close she came. While she hasn’t been a total delight the entire time she has been most of the time and I can excuse some of her actions with over-enthusiasm or clumsiness.
BTW she did not eat breakfast this morning. Extremely rare for her as she will counter surf and trash dig. She was focused on something on the other side of the fence and no amount of coaxing or shaking her bowl would move her. Finally I just poured it back in the bin. I’m wondering if her little boyfriend Mochi was over there in the back yard. He is a Bichon Frisé half her size but she is obsessed with him. BUT DON’T TELL FRANKLIN.
ML makes some excellent points about the possible dismal future of the Hawaiian pants. I would proffer a suggestion that there might be a happy ending to that thread. (See what I did there?). Maybe ripping out the knees of the pants (as we recently discussed for jeans on these pages) would result in a run on them. Or Magnum P.I. could wear a pair in some obscure rerun. (We all know what he did for the shirts.). Or an unreleased song about them by Jimmy Buffet could surface. Or, with each purchase, a pouch of Maui Wowie would be included. I do love it when an ongoing motif finds conclusion, like when Chet figured out he lives in Arizona. So I’m looking forward to how those pants turn out! 😁
Another possibility is he unloads them on someone who makes him an offer and they turn around and either sell them for an obscene profit having some marketing gimmick or TikTock influencer or something or they repurpose them into something else, like maybe tote bags, and they go viral and everyone wants one.
But you know one thing. No matter what happens, our poor Bernie will end up the loser holding a very short stick.